We had a good conversation about..I really don't remember, but..it felt right. After we hung up, I felt sad because she's changed so much. She used to be this person you'd love to be around. The thing is, she can't fool me. I know she's miserable. & she told me she always hated that about me.
That I read her like a fucking book.
You know, I hate drugs. I really do.
You should never do them.
I've seen what it does to people.
It can change the nicest most loving person, into a heartless monster. Not only are you hurting yourself, but those around you! It hurts them to see you snort that shit up. (or whichever drug you fucking do)
If I try hard enough, I can still feel my heart brake,
when i saw her sniff that crap up her pretty little nose.
I used to want to do it.
And almost did once..i wanted to feel closer to them. To see what the big deal was. But I knew if she found out, she'd never speak to me. And I could never risk that..
I feel like an old person saying,
"Don't do drugs! Do the right thing!"
but in reality,
I'm the kid among these people...
They all carry purses, and wear fancy shoes
while I'm still walking around with my sweater,
my old beat up sneakers, & not combing my hair.
Still laughing LOUD when someone falls.
& still being secretly scared of the dark
Sorta like I'm jumping in a puddle of mud,
& I'm begging them to come play w/me.
Once in a while, I'll convince a few to come
and play. But for the most part...they don't
want to get dirty. & I'm left alone.
umm. umm. I don't know! =/
im awfully lonely & stupid these days.
please forgive me.
I used to tell Jessica that I wanted to read a novel about lesbians. Not erotic shit, either. Just a love story. So i found "Keeping you a Secret" by Julie Anne Peters. It was alright I'm awfully glad I started reading "On The Road" I'm only on chapter 4, but it sounds good.
My favorite book is "The perks of being a Wallflower" I don't know why, but I absolutely LOVED it.
I feel like a nerd talking about books, but i do love reading. <3